The Hardest Thing About Teaching Isn't Teaching

I'm told there are magical days in teaching when you can feel yourself changing the world one student at a time, and I've had a handful of those in the last 2 years...they are indeed magical. Having those off-the-lesson-plan conversations about real-world lessons and watching the minds of my students open up and take it all in is by far one of the most rewarding moments I've had. The only thing that makes them even better is when they come back days, weeks, or even months later and ask you a related question or make a comment and you that's when you realize they really have been thinking about it. <insert golden beams of awesome and angelic singing here>

Then there are days- ones that nobody ever tells you are going to happen- that you can feel yourself getting stuck in the rut, leaning way too heavily on the textbook or just giving out what you know to be mindless busy-work...I've had my share of those, too. "I'm just too tired today, let's popcorn-read chapter 2 together." Those kinds of days. You know nothing is getting absorbed but you just don't have the energy to be your awesome, inspiring, challenge-your-thinking kind of teacher that day. Nobody really tells you that those days are going to be so gray, but they are....and if you're doing this teaching thing right, those days should be all kinds of blah. Coming up with and finding creative ways to teach something (especially social studies) in a way that really bends your students' minds and gets them to think bigger-picture is hard. It's time-consuming, it can energize and drain you simultaneously, and it's also incredibly rewarding. But let's be honest, it's bloody hard to make that magic happen every single day! At least for me it is, but maybe that's the noob teacher talking? Ask me again in 5 years and we'll see.

Then on the third wobbly branch, you have the really bad days. Days that nobody really tells you about in college or student teaching, where you just feel so overwhelmed, overworked, and under-appreciated that you seriously debate changing careers...I have definitely had several of these. It's your first year with a classroom, you can see the sky getting dark and you're pretty sure you're the last one in this creepy, quiet building and you realize you were allowed to leave 3 hours ago. "Why do you do this to yourself?" I often find myself wondering, why do I spend what feels like an irrational amount of time making sure my students will understand and be able to analyze my lessons? Making sure those worksheets copy 2-sided to save paper, make sure I've given them every possible thing they need to succeed? Well....to be honest, it's a labor of love. I love teaching and I love my students like they were my own (maybe not my own kids, but cousins? Nephews? God-children?) and when I  I pour my heart into this it's for their futures.

Teaching is the easy part of teaching. It's the motivating, inspiring, challenging, differentiating, individualizing, responding, caring, nurturing, disciplining, and coaching that is hard. While I doubt myself for a few seconds every now and then, you couldn't pay me to switch to any other career. Just as I was getting out of one of these maybe-I-should've-been-a-journalist slumps last week, I was awarded Staff Member of the Month for December. It was a total surprise! Aside from those magical moments I first mentioned, sometimes it's little things like this that keep teachers going...knowing that someone is watching us work hard and appreciating it. Having administration support you is all kinds of key, and while no administration is perfect, I'm grateful for the support of mine.

I love what I do (and wouldn't call it a job because it never really feels like I'm "working") and wouldn't trade it for the world, even on the bad days. I guess that explains why, after calling in sick with the worst migraine in years, I'm looking at the clock and thinking about which class my students are in right now, and thinking of ways to make the next few weeks spectacular.