There's a lot of things I could say here, and while I certainly am smarter than that, I will say that these last 9 months were an incredible learning experience for me. From my very first day in what was just supposed to be a long-term substitute position to the very last day of teary-eyed goodbyes and selfies with my 8th graders, I have grown tremendously as a professional...and as an individual.
My desk has been through some things, and if it could talk I think it, too, would have some wise reflective sentiments to share. My first day started in the kindergarten room, subbing for the teacher who was getting married that weekend and was gone for 3 days. She left wonderful instructions and being the perfectionist I am, I stayed later than I was required to clean up the room and prep it for the next day, and to leave some notes for her. Somewhere during one of those days I ran into the principal (who I originally thought was a parapro...oops!) and we got to chatting about my educational background, discovered the puzzle-piece of a match between my Social Studies major and her middle school teacher opening and VIOLA! I suddenly had a bigger job to do.
I met with the then-ELL teacher (who later became my work roomie and one of my favorite people), and while leaning on the desk, was distracted mid-sentence by what appeared to be large, wild bird-like creatures roaming the playground! "ARE THOSE TURKEYS?!" "What? Oh...yeah, we get them around here sometimes." Her reply was so non-chalant and I couldn't help but laugh at how far into the boonies this place felt (we are next to 2 farms and across from an undeveloped area forested area). Over the next few months, on those late nights at my desk, I would witness not only wild turkeys, but deer and fox and all kinds of birds and rodents, including Riley the Raccoon (my students named him after the Boondocks character because he seemed rambunctious).
My car keys and phone would greet the desk with a sliding jingle every morning, and my bag would hug it goodbye each night as I filled it with empty tupperware, coffee mugs, and lessons to plan. It was an innocent victim to hot chicken soup, coffee, granola crumbs, and the occasional condiment drip as I sipped and nibbled over it throughout the day. On a day that was particularly full of "f*** this"moments, it was also marred by an acetone spillage as I indulged in some prep-time manicure therapy.When I wanted to pull my hair out because the printer was malfunctioning (AGAIN), or because a lesson that was supposed to be awesome turned out to be a flop, my desk was a refuge behind which I could hide and sulk in before the next class came rolling in. It played the role of lost and found for left-behind bracelets and notebooks, it was a locker for confiscated love notes and cell phones, and a safe haven for a student who was just looking for someone to listen.
By the end of January, I had outgrown my desk and found it regularly stacked and covered with papers and would lose my cell phone somewhere in the heaps of folders and papers after dismissal. My students have been agonized on many occasions by the repeated chimes of my 3-minute warning alarms (which I eventually became immune to) and insisted on playing needle-in-the-haystack to retrieve and silence it. On those mind-numbing days which seemed to coincide with a full moon, or a Friday (or heaven forbid, BOTH), I fished out referral forms at the last minute and successfully ruined the rest of the day for at least one student. It was a repair shop for broken jewelry clasps and unsharpenable (a word only a teacher could come up with) pencils. It served as a charging station for stacks of phones and iPods and as a sometimes-faulty fortress between shiny new school supplies and sticky fingers.
As Frankie First-Year (raise your hand if you get the HP reference), I spent a lot of late nights tweaking lessons, grading papers to try to get them back the next day, and organizing (sometimes re-organizing) various drawers/shelves/boxes to maximize more space in my already-crowded classroom. I had some wonderful conversations with other members of the late-stayers club (most of whom are also in the first few years) and the custodial staff, sharing our struggles and successes while unjamming the printer or waiting for the bathroom. These people, along with the rest of our middle school team and our crazy awesome receptionist, were my other desk: a source of support, a storehouse of knowledge and tricks-of-the-trade, and a rock to lean on when I was too tired to think of new approaches to old problems.
My desk got me through my first year, and as I wrapped up the year and began preparing for summer school, I found myself sitting at it once again and finding ways to make the next year bigger and better. Oh, and I've since swapped out my desk for a bigger one...I like to think I'll be tackling more, growing and storing knowledge and lending support to others. Like me, my desk started out small and empty, waiting to be filled and added to...and it has grown since the beginning of the year. Now bursting with files and papers and experiences, it is witness to the trials and tribulations of a first-year teacher, and is ready to take on another year! That is, of course...after a little summer detox! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment